The worst part of it for him is the judgement of others. He feels he appears Lazy to those around him. The unkempt yard, the wife doing the man's job while he just sits around. "If he says he is unable to lift or work why do I see him lifting and working?" Judgement is painful.
Even when you explain it, it is hard to understand. Yes, sometimes he is stronger than other times. Sometimes he can lift and sometimes he can't. He could work harder, but there is a heavy price to pay. Sometimes he does work harder than he should and comes home with numb body parts. If he doesn't stop immediately, those numb body parts will stop working all together.
We are quite a pair. I am only 34 and already have arthritis and sjogrens, both attack the joints. My body gets stiff and aches but between the two of us we get it done, well most of it. We take turns and continue doing the best we can and keep going.
I have come to realize that everyone's body has something wrong with it. It is part of the nature of life and we need to remember that when we look into another's window. We can't see the whole picture, we don't know what goes on inside. Don't judge another's need, if you see a need just help. We all are in need.