Saturday, April 13, 2013

The Invisible Disease

My husband and I joke calling it the "lazy" disease.
He absolutely hates having limitations, especially unseen ones.

I know he wouldn't survive a day in a construction job without several issues coming up.  He does build things around the house from time to time but not without my help and only in short stints.  I even push on the back of the drill for him while he holds it until his hands go numb.  Quitting time.

Recently we have been doing a lot of repairs at our old house we use as a rental.  My husband came home earlier this week with both knees numb and then yesterday he came home from the house with his right hand numb.  They have not yet recovered.  He gets frustrated at his body and needs help.  He hates to ask for it.  He looks fine, he looks fit and able and he is willing but his body does not last.  He lived in denial for a while but when the problems come you have to face it.

The worst part of it for him is the judgement of others.  He feels he appears Lazy to those around him.  The unkempt yard, the wife doing the man's job while he just sits around.  "If he says he is unable to lift or work why do I see him lifting and working?"  Judgement is painful.

Even when you explain it, it is hard to understand.  Yes, sometimes he is stronger than other times.  Sometimes he can lift and sometimes he can't.  He could work harder, but there is a heavy price to pay.  Sometimes he does work harder than he should and comes home with numb body parts.  If he doesn't stop immediately, those numb body parts will stop working all together.

We are quite a pair.  I am only 34 and already have arthritis and sjogrens, both attack the joints.  My body gets stiff and aches but between the two of us we get it done, well most of it.  We take turns and continue doing the best we can and keep going.

I have come to realize that everyone's body has something wrong with it.  It is part of the nature of life and we need to remember that when we look into another's window.  We can't see the whole picture, we don't know what goes on inside.  Don't judge another's need, if you see a need just help.  We all are in need.              

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